I know how it feels to be the single girl in the season of love where everyone around me is going ice skating, drinking hot cocoa, checking out Christmas lights, baking cookies and holding hands with their significant other and I’m sitting at home eating pizza and watching every sappy Hallmark holiday movie there is. Especially since I've been in this position year after year, the personal size frozen pizza and solo movies start sounding not so fun and I start being jealous of my friends in relationships.
In recent years I’ve started celebrating the season of love in my singleness instead of wishing away this time and spending my days rolling my eyes at the engagement announcements and cute snowy couples photo shoots.
Trust me, loving in your single time isn’t as easy as it sounds so, this is my single girl's guide to the season of love:
Be the girl that celebrates love and doesn’t resent it - you know you’re celebrating love when your friends don’t hesitate to share the awesome things in their life with you. If you’re a love resenter you’re probably vocal about how love isn’t for you and your friends won’t share things with you because “oh woah is [Kait]. She always says she doesn’t have much going for her so I don’t want to tell her this news because I don’t want to seem like I’m rubbing it in.” Being vocal about love is being compassionate and empathetic to other people and being kind to yourself. The love celebrater sounds like the complete opposite person than the love resenter. The love celebrater’s friends say “I can not wait to tell [Kait] this news. She is going to be overjoyed. She has been praying for me to find a man of God/get this job/(insert awesome thing here)”
Be the girl that does things with the people you love - this season isn’t just for couples. This season is about celebrating the gift our God gave us. Which includes spending time with and investing our hearts in our loved ones. What this could mean is go ice skating with your best girl friends and their significant others, drink hot cocoa with your grandparents, check out Christmas lights with your siblings, bake cookies with your mom and hold hands with people that need it. You were probably tracking until that last part. Who am I supposed to be holding hands with? You’ll know someone that needs a hand when you see them.
Be the girl that gives - giving is such a huge part of this season. You’re probably expecting me to say “treat yo self” since you’re single and you're worth it. I’m not going to say that, (though you are completely worth it, but c’mon every time you go to Target you treat yo self... no? Just me? Ok. NVM). Instead of taking the money you’d be spending on a boyfriend’s gift this time of year on yourself, there are SO many people that are having to choose between feeding themselves or trying to keep a roof over their heads instead of buying gifts for their children or anyone else. I don’t know about you guys, but when I get those lists of things to buy or am told to go Christmas shopping to fill a shoe box for a 5 year old girl I go absolutely ham. It is so dang much fun. I would suggest you find out what organizations around you need and go from there. I’ve never regretted a purchase that I’ve made for another person.
Be the girl that’s in control - don’t let your singleness be something that happened to you. Let’s be completely honest. You could be in a relationship if you desperately wanted to be BUT we all have things that we are looking for in a future husband and we are waiting for a man that could be that man. Right? Be in control. Keep those standards high and don’t ignore the desires of your heart because of your lonely circumstance. I don’t know if it’s cheesy or smart, but I personally have a list in my first church journal of qualities that I am looking for in a future husband. I suggest you write one out too. It’s just for your eyes but this list has honestly helped me stay in control. I wrote the list when I was in college and I’ve added some things to it as God has spoken to me. I can’t tell you how helpful it is to have this piece of paper hold me accountable and remind me that I’m in control of my singleness and that man I’m waiting for is beyond worth it. For those times when you want to cave and just date the guy that looks at you with googly eyes because you’re lonely, the list will check your intentions.
I hope that you absolutely celebrate the season of love with me in all our singleness. Plus if you don’t have someone to go ice skating and eat cookie dough with, I am here too!